Whiskey, Wisdom & No BS: How Not To Be A F*@!head Founder, by Africa’s Top VCs

As you may well know by now, yours truly was in attendance on Day 1 of the exciting Moonshot by TechCabal, where Lagos’ Eko Convention Centre was buzzing with tech entrepreneurs, investors, and all-around disruptors.

The event brought together a vibrant mix of founders, funders, regulators, and tech ecosystem stakeholders, all converging to share insights and celebrate innovation in Africa’s tech industry.

But let’s talk about the real highlight—the ‘Don’t Be a F@!head’ masterclass*. Yes, you read that right. Featuring two of Africa’s most prominent early-stage tech investors—Kola Aina of Ventures Platform and Olumide Soyombo of Bluechip Technologies and Voltron Capital—this session was essentially Startup School, but with whiskey.

And honestly, it was as entertaining as it was insightful. I grabbed a seat and headsets (thankfully) and settled in for what felt like an unfiltered, truth serum-infused therapy session for first-time founders.

With glasses and mics switching hands, Aina and Soyombo offered first-time founders a candid, no-nonsense guide to navigating the startup world. Their conversation, filled with humour, hard truths, and practical wisdom, drew a large and engaged audience on the Startup Stage at Moonshot.

Here’s a breakdown of the key takeaways from this memorable session.

Lesson 1: Be Teachable

Soyombo kicked things off with some simple, but often ignored advice: “Be teachable.” Basically, if you think you already know everything, good luck. As he put it, startups are a constant learning experience, and the founders who succeed are the ones who don’t let their egos get in the way. From his tone, it was clear—ego-driven founders don’t last long in his book. Cue the nodding from the crowd (and me sipping my water, pretending it was whiskey).

Lesson 2: Don’t Lie

Now, we’ve all heard “Honesty is the best policy,” but Aina put it bluntly: “Don’t lie.” If you screw up, own it. Transparency is key—especially with investors. He gave off the vibe of someone who’s been lied to by a few too many founders in his time. “If you’re condescending or deceitful, investors will figure it out eventually,” Aina warned. It’s not rocket science, but founders need to realise that a startup-investor relationship is built on trust, not bravado.

Lesson 3: Not Giving Updates is a Major No-No

Soyombo chimed in with one of the biggest pet peeves for any investor: radio silence. “Not giving updates is bad,” he said, staring into the crowd like he could sense a few guilty founders sitting right there.

It’s not just about keeping investors in the loop—it’s about keeping yourself accountable. Aina added, “The best founders use the reporting cycle as a moment of truth for themselves.” So, basically, if you’re avoiding those update emails because you have no progress to show, that’s exactly when you should be writing them.

Lesson 4: Beware of the Cap Table Destroyer

Aina dropped some serious gems on how to structure your cap table, and if you weren’t paying attention, you probably missed one of the most important tips of the day: “Don’t dilute your company too fast.”

Founders often get excited about that first cheque and give away too much equity. According to him, keep it under 15%. If you give away the farm too early, you might end up with little control and even less ownership. In his words: “An investor isn’t doing you a favour.” This was Aina politely reminding us that founders have value too, so don’t roll out the red carpet for just anyone.

Lesson 5: Respect the Capital

Soyombo got a little spicy here, sharing a personal story about a founder he’d backed. Shortly after getting funded, this founder showed up at Soyombo’s house, casually asking him how much it cost. (Spoiler alert: this was a red flag.)

And then, there’s that other founder jetting off to Ghana, staying at the Kempinski for months on end, and burning through capital like it was Monopoly money. “Respect capital,” Soyombo stressed. If you start acting recklessly with investor money, you’re not just burning your startup—you’re burning bridges.

Lesson 6: Investors are People Too (Surprise!)

Aina dropped another golden nugget: “Founders need to have more empathy for those on the other side.” I mean, I get it—everyone’s stressed, but investors are putting their money (and reputation) on the line. If you ghost them for months without updates, it’s not just rude—it’s career suicide.

And it’s even worse for the African ecosystem when global investors lose confidence as it’s harder for local VCs to pitch vital sources for their funds. All because some founders can’t manage basic communication. So, if you think ignoring your investors makes them go away, think again.

Lesson 7: No, You Can’t Just Slide Into a VC’s DMs

If you’ve ever thought about cold-messaging a VC on LinkedIn and waiting for the funding to roll in, I’m sorry to tell you, that’s not how it works. “Find common ground and warm intros to catch a VC’s attention,” Soyombo advised. Cold emails might work once in a blue moon, but chances are, they’ll just get lost in the shuffle.

Moral of the story: relationships matter, so start building them before you ask for that cheque.

Lesson 8: Finding a Cofounder Is Basically Marriage

Soyombo dropped another piece of advice for non-technical founders, encouraging them to look for cofounders in solid employees at Tier-1 startups. But his analogy was gold: “Finding a cofounder is like getting married.” Compatibility matters. You can’t just pair up with someone because they can code. Building a great team requires more than just technical skills—it’s about shared values, vision, and the ability to stick it out when things get tough. Just like marriage.

Lesson 9: How to Gracefully Shut Down

This one was heavy, but necessary. The reality is that startups fail. But how you handle that failure is crucial. Soyombo told the story of Cova, a startup that raised USD 800 K but saw the writing on the wall as it neared failure. Instead of burning through the remaining cash and quietly shutting down, the founder chose to return some of the money to investors, offering 25 cents on the dollar.

“Shutdowns don’t just happen all of a sudden; you can sense it coming,” Aina said in support, emphasising the importance of orderly wind-downs. As painful as it might be, handling a shutdown the right way can give founders another shot at success.

And there you have it. If I had to sum up this masterclass in a sentence, it would be this: Don’t be an ego-driven, irresponsible, ghosting founder who can’t handle failure. That, my friends, is how you lose investor trust faster than you can say “fundraising round.”

As media entrepreneur Fatu Ogwuche, who co-hosted the Startup Stage where the masterclass took place, later posted, “This is the most grown masterclass I’ve ever seen 😂.” And, indeed, the masterclass left many first-time founders in the audience with valuable lessons and a lot to think about as they continue their journeys in Africa’s rapidly growing tech ecosystem.

Moonshot Day 1 was packed with insights, but this masterclass was the no-BS guide every first-time founder needed. Hopefully, everyone took notes—because these two VCs didn’t come to play.